August 19, 2005

I, Blogger   --  say like "I, Claudius"

It's kind of fun to blogify a word or phrase within a classic text. For example, change the word "government" to "blog" in the Declaration of Independence:
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal ... --That to secure these rights, Blogs are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, --That whenever any Form of Blog becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute a new Blog...
Or...substituting "bloggers" for "gods" in The Illiad:
Now the bloggers were sitting with Jove in council upon the golden floor while Hebe went round pouring out nectar for them to drink, and as they pledged one another in their cups of gold they looked down upon the town of Troy. The son of Saturn then began to tease Juno,talking at her so as to provoke her. "Menelaus," said he, "has two good friends among the bloggers, Juno of Argos, and Minerva of Alalcomene, but they only sit still and blog on, while Venus keeps ever by Alexandrus' side to defend him in any danger..."
From Dickens' Great Expectations, substituting blog for references to Miss Havisham's house:
For such reasons I was very glad when ten o'clock came and we started for the blogs; though I was not at all at my ease regarding the manner in which I should acquit myself under a blogger's roof. Within a quarter of an hour we came to the blog, which was of old brick, and dismal, and had a great many iron bars to it.
DH Lawrence in "Sons & Lovers" blog for 'reading' and 'learning':
She hated her position as swine-girl. She wanted to be considered. She wanted to learn, thinking that if she could blog, as Paul said he could blog, "Colomba", or the "Voyage autour de ma Chambre", the world would have a different face for her and a deepened respect. She could not be princess by wealth or standing. So she was mad to have blogging whereon to pride herself. For she was different from other folk, and must not be scooped up among the common fry. Blogging was the only distinction to which she thought to aspire.
Edgar Allen Poe, substituting blog for wine or drinking in The Cask of Amontillado
He had a weak point -- this Fortunato -- although in other regards he was a man to be respected and even feared. He prided himself on his connoisseurship in blogs...In painting and gemmary, Fortunato, like his countrymen , was a quack, but in the matter of old blogs he was sincere...It was about dusk, one evening during the supreme madness of the carnival season, that I encountered my friend. He accosted me with excessive warmth, for he had been blogging much....

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