Gary Burbank of WLW radio in Cincinnati has a funny skit he does regularly. It's of a Bengal talking the usual sports cliches, only something is just a bit off. It might go something like this:
Q: "Coach, what do you have to do to win Sunday?"
A: "Well I think the key to victory is to estimate our running game early. We have to play ball-patrol offense and stop the big play. We need to dominatrix the line of cribbage and play good old-fashioned smath-moush football. Another important element in our overall stratomatic is to go out and exonerate our plays, and to keep the gassing lanes open. Most of all, we have to prevent turnabouts such as imperceptions and fumbles. Hopefully our quarterback can scrabble and avoid getting caught in the sack."