Funnies

Culled from the Columbus Dispatch...Editor Ray Stein has a funny line:

Editor: I was just watching the TV sports news, and they showed a Chinese basketball player who is 7 feet, 6 inches tall. Jeez, there ought to be some restrictions on a guy that tall, like a semi-circle around the hoop about 5 feet wide that he couldn’t score in. A guy that tall would only have to reach up to slam it. — David P.

David: I think a better rule would demand that Bob Costas stop coloring his hair.

* * *

Ray: As another sad Reds season wheezes to a merciful close, it was encouraging to see that Reds executives were addressing problem areas in preparation for next season. They apparently felt the team needed to add another mascot; hence Rosie Red, who presumably will assist the hilarious Mr. Red, the other big baseball with legs. Maybe they jumped the gun. A better choice for another mascot might have been St. Jude. Dressed (tastefully) in turn-of-the-century baseball togs, he could cavort around the ballpark, delighting young and old alike and even launching, by slingshot, promotional items into the huge crowds. St. Jude is the patron saint of lost causes, which is quite fitting. — Jim L.

Jim: I just hope Rosie Red and Mr. Red don’t hook up and before you know it you’ve got a bunch of big-baseballheaded Reds rugrats running around. Another mascot choice could be St. Corey Patterson, the patron saint of lame outfielders, whom you bury upside-down in center field at the end of the season.

And a quote:

“In other Olympic cities, there’s literally stuff going on until early in the morning. Here, you just don’t get the festival feeling, even during the day. They don’t understand the concept of fun.” Chris Welton, CEO of Helios, the Atlanta-based sports marketing giant, when asked to assess the games