January 08, 2009

Fat, Drunk & Stupid is One Way to Get Thru Life

...but I'm not ready for it yet since it would involve shopping.

I'm trying not to be fat, and that precludes drunkenness as there are lots of calories in alcohol. Beer slows the metabolic rate of fats - curse the British for their study that found that "when alcohol was added to a high-fat, high-calorie meal, less dietary fat was burned off and more was stored as body fat." I'm no longer invincably ignorant.

The ten pounds I gained over the holidays must be shed, requiring portion control of foods as well as exercise and no beer but for Fridays. Clothing never lies and it certainly got my attention when pants became suddenly - almost overnight? - tight. The thought of experiencing the horrors of shopping, of descending into "Mall hell" (pardon the redundancy), frightens me into submission of my appetites.

Last night we headed back to H20 aerobics after a three week break and there was much water sluicing and ducing. I was serious about it, and the instructor praised my "breakthru", evidenced apparently by better posture & greater use of the abs. All I know is that I was hungry to burn calories given the visions of that mawing jaw of Mall, the fourth circle of Hell in the updated Dante for suburban males.

6 comments:

MaryH said...

... you know how one day you wake up and realize how important something is and you feel like its such a break through in your personal growth or this great revelation and you feel all proud and satisfied with yourself for having had this great epiphany and then you realize its what your mom's been telling you since you were five and it's not that you were smart in this moment at all but rather that you had been incredibly dense for the past 30 years.... yup... that's the sad truth about most health issues especially when it comes to eating and exercise. The one that got me two years ago was "eat your vegetable."

TS said...

Yep, so reminds me of this post from Jim Curley quoting Eric Pavlat.

Terrence Berres said...

Abandon all hope ye who present an AARP card for a discount on Sansabelt slacks.

Ellyn said...

My first recourse with the "tight pants" thing is to accuse the dryer of being too hot. Which doesn't hold out for long when I'm reminded that I have a new, 'space age' dryer...plus nobody else's pants are shrinking.

kathy said...

Cheap detergent and a humid closet are also good excuses for clothes becoming tight.

TS said...

I'm hoping that my belt is thick enough to hide the unbuttoned top button as I wait for weight loss to occur.