May 07, 2009

Say It Is So, Manny!

[Update: Okay so I feel guilty now in my haughty assumption as to what Manny did or didn't know. Innocent before proven guilty, yada, yada. It's possible that Manny wasn't aware it was a banned drug.]

I'm always fascinated - in this age of science - how it is that folks like Manny Ramierez, Bill Clinton, Roger Clemens and the like deny culpability when there's a stained dress or a positive drug test.

It's seems a sign of contempt. It's gotten so it's almost refreshing when someone actually admits they did steroids. You want to praise someone, anyone, for admitting they did anything wrong when caught red-handed, or in this case syrnge-handed.

Most come up with wild excuses such as "the butler did it!", er, I mean "the doctor did it!", or, in Clinton's case, parsing the word "is".

Maybe the root of it is the lawyering of America. Rich ballplayers can easily afford to hire agents and lawyers and the mindset of the lawyer begins to rub off (very easy in Clinton's case, being a lawyer himself).

The attorney mindset - the equivalent of their Boy Scout oath - is this: admit nothing and offer possible explanations other than the truth. Sow reasonable doubt because, you know, in the legal system truth is an ancillary player. If truth were a ballplayer he'd be hitting .202. In double-A. Not exactly an impact player.

"Doctor error" seems the hot new excuse. Perhaps part of Obama's stimulus package should've been a bail-out of poorly performing sports doctors. Banks and car companies make mistakes and they get all the money.

It's funny how the doctors never error on the side of hurting the ballplayer's performance. Which might be by prescribing estrogen by mistake. We'd sure hear about that pronto. That doctor would have a lawsuit slapped on him faster than the player could grow breasts.

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