August 23, 2002

How to Have Fun With Nigerian Scammers Without Really Trying
DR VINCENT .A YOMI
LAGOS-NIGERIA.

DEAR SIR,

I GUESS THIS LETTER MAY COME TO YOU AS A SURPRISE SINCE I HAD NO PREVIOUS CORRESPONDENCE WITH YOU. I AM THE CHAIRMAN TENDER BOARD OF INDEPENDENT NATIONAL ELECTORAL COMMISSION (INEC) I GOT YOUR CONTACT IN THE COURSE OF MY INTRNET SEARCH FOR A RELIABLE PERSON WITH WHOM TO HANDLE A VERY CONFIDENTIAL TRANSACTION INVOLVING THE TRANSFER OF FUND VALUED THIRTY MILLION TWO HUNDRED THOUSAND UNITED STATES DOLLARS ($30.2M) TO A SAFE FOREIGN ACCOUNT....blahblahblah"


One time I responded with Aeschylus in the original Greek, excerpted here for your enjoyment:

"Dear Sir:

Iô ouk oid' hopôs humin apistêsai me chrê, saphei de muthôi pan hoper proschrêizete peusesthe: kaitoi kai legous' theossuton cheimôna kai diaphthoran morphês, hothen schetliai proseptato. aiei gar opseis ennuchoi pôleumenai es parthenônas tous emous parêgoroun leioisi muthois "ô meg' eudaimon korê, ti partheneuei daron, exon soi gamou tuchein megistou; Zeus gar himerou belei pros tethalptai kai sunairesthai Kuprin thelei: su d', ô pai, mê 'polaktisêis lechos to Zênos, all' exelthe pros Lernês bathun leimôna, boustaseis te pros patros, hôs an to Dion omma lôphêsêi pothou."


I actually received an email back saying, "Sir I do not understand you!". I'm sure they thought I was totally on board, ready to send them a couple grand, but just had a couple nagging questions involving "Zeus".

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