August 27, 2004

Ne'er Old Till Heimer...

Received three more Nigerian scam emails. It's getting old. We had a co-worker named "Heimer" and I tend to share his tendency to beat dead horses. We had a saying that "it's never old till Heimer says it" which, by definition, never got old since Heimer never said it.

The three emails differed in the sum of the untapped funds. One was for 15 million, one 30 million, and one for 47 million. All are careful to specify the denomination as U.S. dollars, lest we think it's Confederate money or Guinea pesos. Two want to give me 30%, the other doesn't specify.

The Nigerian scam writing genre could use a bit more creativity, imho. My take on the scammers is that if everyone replies to them their inboxes would crash. Towards that goal I offered this reply:
Hallo Chide John!

Iô ouk oid' hopôs humin apistêsai me chrê, saphei de muthôi pan hoper proschrêizete peusesthe: kaitoi kai legous' theossuton cheimôna kai diaphthoran morphês, hothen schetliai proseptato. aiei gar opseis ennuchoi pôleumenai es parthenônas tous emous parêgoroun leioisi muthois ô meg' eudaimon korê, ti partheneuei daron, exon soi gamou tuchein megistou; gar himerou belei pros tethalptai kai sunairesthai Kuprin thelei: FOURTY-SEVEN MILLION UNITED STATES DOLLARS(US$47M)? Su d', ô pai, mê polaktisêis lechos FIFTY-SEVEN MILLION? (U.S. opseis). Al' exelthe pros Lernês bathun leimôna, but boustaseis te pros patros, hôs an to Dion omma lôphêsêi pothou.

Leioisi muthois ô meg' eudaimon korê Reserve Bank of South Africa eoikotes ômophagoisi e-mail nêusin pesseuonto, 30%. aiei gar opseis 35%?

-kaitoi, TSO

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