A post for schadenfreude lovers...The new e-bike continues to frustrate more than it delight. My wife says that I’m “hard on things” (hopefully not wives) and certainly my baby e-bike, with just 80 miles on it, has been put through its paces. Today I was riding when the clip-on sunglasses that I clipped on to my shorts fell off into the gears, scratching up the bike body and sending the chain off its rails. Even after setting the chain back on it now makes a slight rattling noise, an omnipresent reminder of my folly.
I later spent a good half-hour trying to see if there was some combination of presses that would reset the trip odometer on the bike because I thought, “gee, it would be nice if I could tell how long I rode without having to note the overall mileage, write it down, and then compare to the finishing mileage.”. In a perfect world there’d be an app for that -- and that’s where I should’ve looked, for a phone app. But the presence of that trip odometer on the LCD display sort of taunted me. It was saying, “nah, nah, nah-nah, nah, you can’t set me!”.
So I checked the user’s manual without success (other than pointing out that number 14 represents the taunting trip odometer, which I already knew). I scrolled through twenty carefully saved Youtube links that describe all the various features that you might want to use on your e-bike and watched two: one was describing an LCD screen on a different model than mine but I watched anyway thinking it might be similar. No dice. Then I watched the right one, for my model A, but alas there was no mention on how to reset the mileage. So I used the chat feature on the e-bike website and a helpful fellow named Sean said that you were to press up and down arrow at the same time and this would result in flashing numbers that would reset things. But I’d tried that before at least a hundred times and by now an old veteran at two presses. In fact I tried every combination of two presses there was: “up and on/off key", “down and on/off key” and a long press and short press in every combo available as well. I was like the kid who asks for a horse for Christmas and got a pile of manure and kept looking through it saying, “I know there’s a horse in here somewhere!” I kept thinking, "I know there's an odometer reset in there somewhere!"
Sean said that the trick was the bike had to be on for longer than 20 seconds, but I’d been trying these combinations for 20 minutes, so I had that covered. To paraphrase the ol’ Elvis song, “some things, like odometer resets, aren't meant to be.”
Another issue was that a few weeks ago I had decided that it would be nice to see behind me. This too became a dream deferred. I ordered the part but the casing immediately cracked. I tried using electrical tape to hold it together but when riding the mirror flops more than a fish out of water. (I did find that if I’m in a perfectly straight stretch on brand new pristine asphalt, it would hold steady. Few and far between in Ohio.) I suppose the goal wasn’t to have it too tight so you could make hand adjustments on the ride. Mission accomplished there!
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Ultimately e-bikes are an e-headache. I’m not sure what possessed me to buy an electric bike given I have the mechanical skills on the level of my six-year old granddaughter.
Electric bike are complex, complicated machines. Like women, with fewer operating instructions. Just learning how to turn it on took time back when I got it, let alone taking the battery off and putting the battery back on. There was a lot of trial and error until I latched on to the proper way to latch it. Hopefully muscle memory will improve my dexterity but I’m not particularly hopeful. Next week or next month I assume I’ll be trying to put the battery back on after about twenty attempts.
Other complexities involve a willfulness on the part of the “pedal assist” feature. This is what gives you the power boost; otherwise you’re just riding a regular bike. Pedal assist is something that can suddenly go off. Poof! I’m thinking there’s a setting on the LCD screen that I accidentally hit sometimes causing it to be defaulted to “off”. Other times, when just starting a bike ride, the pedal assist will take awhile to engage, maybe three minutes. I think this is a separate issue from the LCD screen having a pedal assist option ticked off but who knows? E-bikes are complex, complicated machines.
One thing I’ve learned is to always carry a tool kit on a bike ride. Today, I rode even though I would have no power on my bike. I stopped a couple times to tighten the steering. There are, I kid you not, at least 6 screws randomly scattered around the handlebar stem that may (or may not!) be the cause of the loose steering. I was on my way when I had to stop again to find the elusive screw that actually tightened it.
Despite my long and checkered history of anti-mechanical ability, last week I grew so bold as to try taking the front tire off. I wanted to do this because it’s theoretically a game-changer: I could then store my bike in my SUV (otherwise the bike's too big). I was excited I was actually able to take the wheel off, and even more excited that I was able to put the tire back on. That was harder, as a spring sprung out and so I had a 50-50 choice on which side of the bike to put it on. Seems I chose well since it worked after I tried it out.
The downside is that the motor would no longer turn on. The LCD quit working. I tried charging the already-charged battery. I tried taking the battery off and back on, thus giving me additional practice on a skill that takes the precision of a surgeon.
Exasperated, I finally emailed Electric Bike Company with the issue and provided pictures of the bike in its distress. They emailed back saying that one of the wires was undone. Apparently I had taken the tire off but caused one of the wires to become detached.
Let history record THIS was the eureka moment I realized I am not a good candidate for an electric bike.
To quote Billy Joel who wrote of women but also applies to e-bikes:
She is frequently kind
And she's suddenly cruel
She can do as she pleases
She's nobody's fool...
She’s always an e-bike to me...