Extreme
   Soul
      Makeover  - check your local listings!

      Transcript from last week's show:

Dah-ling, you've let yourself go! Those are the seven deadly sins, not virtues, for heaven sakes. Thank God he starts where we are and not where we should be.



Fortunately we have a team of specialists here to assist: soulatologists, prayer stylists, alms artists, soul beauticians, confessors, spiritual personal trainers, and most importantly the Soul Surgeon, who never leaves a scar. He's always available and no appointments are needed, so don't hesitate to talk with him.

First we'll introduce you to Mary, who without question has the most beautiful soul ever created. I promise she won't blanch at your split ends. We had a gal come in the other day with really crappy nails and Mary didn't blink an eye. Remarkable because Mary's nails look like Heaven! She'll have you say the Rosary which will soften the skin of your soul. You'll feel like buttah!

During your stay there will be a Confessional purgative, where you will experience the healing balm of forgiveness and unmerited mercy. Depending on your needs, we'll set up sessions with our staff of saints who have undergone similar extreme makeovers. Augustine and Magdalen are favorites for those with problems with wrinkles, eye bags, acne and scars. But first a herbal bath in the Psalms. And don't worry. As an old curmudgeon once told me, "Pray, hope and don't worry!"