When in Doubt, Blame the Supplier

I'm always amused at the Kabuki theatre of hauling the oil execs before Congress. It's indicative of a couple things besides the obvious fact that politicians are more interested in being perceived as doing something rather than actually doing something. I think it indicates:

The economic illiteracy of much of the country. People don't understand the dynamics of commodity prices in a free market and think oil executives are setting the gas prices. If so, they sure didn't do a very good job during the '80s & '90s when gas prices were low.

That much pain - whether economic or physical or mental - seems mostly relative to what we are used to. The reason gas is a huge bugaboo is that it fluctuates. Taxes are infinitely more expensive than gas, but because taxes stay (relatively) stable, we don't complain much. The old story about the frog who will die happily in water that slowly heats to a boil illustrates a truth - we can more easily take pain when it comes gradually. But free markets can fluctuate wildly - witness stock market fluctuations.

Republicans are using the issue to complain about liberal thwartings of other drillings, which is true, but upon reflection that seems to be just putting off the inevitable. A more powerful argument is how Democrat politicians have thwarted nuclear energy and how both parties have failed to fund alternative energy.

Democracies are like publicly-traded companies - they are not good as good at planning for the long-term as passing the next earnings report, that is election. Which is why Medicare, Social Security are going bankrupt and we don't have a plan in place for the predictable-as-punch fact of oil supply not keeping up with demand. And additional drilling will never keep up with demand given the numbers of Chinese and Indians.

My obsessiveness for planning may be part of being a computer programmer, a profession in which disaster is only a bug away. See this:

What is even more interesting is that it illustrates the difference between computer programmers (homo logicus) and the rest of the human race. Programmers like to have to plan for all edge cases. They think that anyone that doesn't is careless or lazy.

It bothers me that our energy "plan" is to solve the problem only when it becomes too painful not to.

May 22 - St. Rita's Maligned Husband



I confess that (not atypically) my interest in St. Rita is mostly selfish. She is, among other things, the patroness of difficult marriages and although my marriage is not difficult, I've always thought that in the larger sense "difficult marriage" is redundant given that we tend to marry our opposites and that provides plenty of opportunities for cross-carrying. Since St. Rita's feast day coincides with our wedding anniversary, I was particularly warm to St. Rita.

But now I find that the patroness of difficult marriages title turns out to have been acquired under false pretences. Alas and alack! (Though perhaps, saintly as she is and thus able to sympathize even when she has no direct experience of that which she sympathizes, she'll accept the title despite the misunderstanding that has cropped up.)

That misunderstanding I found explained here, a pdf from the National Shrine of St. Rita. It was said that she had a violent husband, but it appears she did not:

The above few lines which express the sentiments of an author whose identity remains unknown, were not written for any book, but were painted, rather, on what has come to be called the ‘monumental coffin’ of Saint Rita, - the coffin in which her body was reverently placed in 1462, five years after her death...

The words of the hymn are at one and the same time a testament to Rita’s great virtue and, as we have to believe, the source of legitimate disappointment for her up until recent times. The story of her virtue is well known; that of her disappointment is perhaps less clear. It was the misreading of this hymn, written in the 15th-century dialect of Cascia, that gave rise to the unfortunate tradition of Rita’s ‘violent’ spouse. In 1626, during the beatification process, the judges reported that the coffin was greatly damaged. Undoubtedly, it was also severly darkened by over a century of smoke from the votive candles which devotees had brought to be burned in Rita’s honor.The difficult to decipher lettering was thought to have revealed a ‘maritu feroce’ or ‘violent husband’ and so the sad tradition was born. Only in 1925 was the coffin restored and cleaned and with it the ‘maritu’ [husband] was more properly seen to be ‘tantu’ [very], indicating the severity of Rita’s forehead wound.

Witness to Change

I was a spectator to a fender-bender.

I was on the sidewalk when Barack Obama drove his car into another car.

The driver of the front car got out, unhurt but angry and ready to raise hell, though when she saw it was Obama she relaxed.

Obama explained that this was change, and that he keeps his eyes on the horizon rather than the car in front of him, and that he hoped she realized that sometimes you have to break a few eggs to make an omelette.

The girl was obviously pregnant; Obama generously offered to raise the child. She wondered how he would do so from Washington. She got into Obama's car and they sped off, driving a half-inch from the car in front of them...

So went a dream I had last night.

From the Curmudgeon File...

It seems symbolic of country music's sellout during the '90s when the Big Money came in, that the long traditional "Fan Fair", the name accurate (many artists found Fan Fair more fatiguing than their tours) has been renamed the CMA Festival. Yes very symbolic. CMA stands for "Country Music Association" and membership is limited to individuals working within the Country Music industry. So now the festival celebrates the industry rather than the fans.
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Regarding Amazon Kindle:

PRO: You're able to carry many books in one slim unit.

CON: You have to carry it inside a large heavy protective device, preferably a padded safe.

Food, Sex, and Drugs

I heard something on NPR about the uneasy co-existence of teen abstinence programs in sex ed programs that also preach "a condom in every pocket".

One could've easily predicted such tension given that sex is now perceived as something somewhere between food and drugs: that is, food is necessary to survival, while sex is not, but sex is a natural impluse as a means to an end, procreation, while drugs have no such utilitarian end a desire for them is derived secondhand.

When sex was no longer seen as a mystery and something holy and sacramental, it became reduced to a bodily urge and thus became fodder for sex ed programs which focus on the less important since the sacred does not obtain. (It strikes me as teaching abstinence without teaching grace might be akin to teaching desert dwellers to snorkel, although I hear the programs have some success so what do I know?)

Well I know that we see what things are like now when we see Bill O'Reilly, the self-described voice of the traditionalist, arguing against prostitution on liberal terms - "it is unhealthy" he says on his television show, unable or unwilling to make any moral claim.

His argument may be weak or strong (weak, in that people do unhealthy things all the time, or strong because we live in a culture where Health is our god) -- but it's certainly not traditional given America's Christian heritage.

Exegesis Without a License

The title serves as warning that this is pure speculation on my part.

It recently occured to me that the most incarnational moment of the Incarnation was our Lord's carrying of the cross.

I can think of at least three times in the gospels where Jesus was sorely tested and in need of relief. One was after forty day fast in the desert, and there were no humans near to console him; the angels did. The second time was the agony in the garden, in which he requested the consolation of humans but the apostles didn't stay awake. The angels came to minister in their stead.

But the third time was different. The third time he was carrying the cross and fell, but no angels came. Instead the reluctant Simon the Cyrenian was pressed into service. This feels more incarnational in the sense that Jesus received some small measure of relief in the form of purely human service instead of angelic ministration. I suppose this is mostly the way God intends our relief - from each other, not from supernatural means. But then I could be wrong and looking at things from a too Pelagianistic view.

Arguing that Mary isn't important, only Jesus is important, is incarnational nonsense. It assumes that what is contingent is irrelevant. But everything is contingent: not just the person who happened to give birth to the Son of God, but also the very fact that the Son of God was born. Our salvation, our Church, our Bible are all contingent on God's grace. Arguing Mary's irrelevance from Jesus' importance is just as sound as arguing Revelation's irrelevance from His importance. I worry somewhat that, when it comes to talking of Mary, we [American Catholics who talk of Mary] think relatively too much in terms of apologetics, of intellectual acceptance of enumerated dogmas, and relatively not enough in terms of mystagogy, of living a life in communion with the person who is the subject of those dogmas. - Tom of Disputations

What does puzzle me...is that there are intelligent and well-educated Catholics (like those, I presume, serving on Senator Obama's Advisory Council) who say that they agree with the Church on abortion, yet support a pro-abortion candidate (Senator Obama) for president. How can a sane person who has reached the age of reason believe on the one hand that abortion is unwarranted homicide, yet on the other support a presidential candidate who makes no secret of the fact that he wants to protect and even extend this homicide "right"? Unless you are a moral monster, you can't possibly hold these two things at once, for they contradict one another. It is psychologically impossible both to agree with the Catholic teaching on abortion and to support a pro-abortion candidate for president. - Inside Catholic

Castrated my first goat yesterday. - Jim of "Bethune Catholic", vying for the most unusual first line of a blog post, as well as the line most likely to induce cringing in male readers.

If Eliot Spitzer's recent experiences are any indicator, you can't afford my evening rate. - Mrs. Darwin commenting to Mr. Darwin, on a post concerning financial compensation stay-at-home mothers would command in the marketplace.

Most [Republican] party leaders in Washington are stupid – detached, played out, stuck in the wisdom they learned when they were coming up, in '78 or '82 or '94. Whatever they learned then, they think pertains now. In politics especially, the first lesson sticks. For Richard Nixon, everything came back to Alger Hiss. They are also – Hill leaders, lobbyists, party speakers – successful, well-connected, busy and rich. They never guessed, back in '86, how government would pay off!.. But affluence detaches, and in time skews thinking. It gives you the illusion you're safe, and that everyone else is. A party can lose its gut this way. - Peggy Noonan

Hollywood's Variety refers to the comedy "Harold and Kumar" as "the stoner's irreverent look at Guantanamo Bay", but the word irreverent is redundant. It is difficult to imagine a stoner viewing anything with reverence unless we are talking about the normal depraved values of wine, women, and song. Not that those values don't have their place (I am not judging them for values I have held dear at various stages of my life.) but they certainly are not relevant starting places for broadside attacks on critical national defense policies... I love Art. I have even found an appreciation for Art that contains messages and values I disagree strongly with. But Art does not provide the slightest toe-hold upon the cliff of political policy. The society that relies on Art for political direction has already fallen to the rocks below and is experiencing the final disconnected thoughts as they flit through a disintegrating mind. - Social Engineer

The other day, in speaking about the employees of the company to the senior management team, the great body of us were referred to as "commodities." We've been reduced from resources, to capital, to commodities--the title deflation not ceasing for a moment in its lockstep downward turn. When I shared this with a friend he remarked, "Isn't it interesting how corporations have attained personhood and people have become commodities."….When speaking about forthcoming layoffs, they were referred to as "tweaks, nothing that you would even notice if circumstances were different."...Linda's response was, "Well, that will look so much better on a resume. You can say that you were 'tweaked' rather than laid off." - Steven of Flos Carmeli

Quarry rock with razors, or moor a vessel with a thread of silk, then you may hope with such keen and delicate instruments as human knowledge and human reason to contend against those giants, the passion and pride of man...It is as absurd to argue men, as to torture them, into believing. - Ven. John Henry Newman

The majority of the Church's "wealth" is tied up in real estate and in art work. These assets are "public wealth." They are open for all to visit and see, much like a public museum. There is a Church in Montreal that has beautiful art, (St. Joseph's Oratory) I walked in off the street because it was open to the public. I wasn't a Catholic. I lay in front of the Cross and gave my life to the Lord Jesus. - David MacDonald, owner of cin.org website

While Tolkien’s works are vast and grave, Lewis’s Narnia stories feel unaffected, sympathetic, homey. If in The Lord of the Rings someone is always swinging an axe at the head of a monster, in The Chronicles of Narnia he is getting out of the rain, warming up by the fire, and having some tea and biscuits. I think that Lewis had a better knack for storytelling than Tolkien did. - Frederica Mathewes-Green

Tolkien disliked allegory so intensely because he felt it was too didactic. It leaves no possibility that any other levels of meaning in the work could exist. Tolkien understood the artist, created in God's image, to be a "sub-creator" -- producing a work of the imagination that functioned best when it followed God's own complex action of creation. To do this most successfully, a complete alternative world had to be created in which the work of redemption could be played out within its own consistent and logical constraints. It was not enough to create a world with symbolic pointers to Jesus Christ and the cross; that world would have to have a whole history and unique inner dynamic that would incarnate the universal truths in a totally fresh way. The difference between Narnia and Middle Earth points to the underlying difference between the imagination of Lewis the Protestant and Tolkien the Catholic. For the Protestant, truth is essentially dialectical. It consists of abstract propositions to be stated, argued, and affirmed or denied. For the Catholic, Truth, while it may be argued dialectically, is essentially something not to be argued but experienced. The Truth is always linked with the mystery of the incarnation, and is therefore something to be encountered. Many Protestants will argue, for instance, that God's primary revelation is Sacred Scripture, while Catholics maintain that God's primary revelation is Jesus Christ. That Lewis produced works that were profound, worthy, and beautiful, but less than fully incarnational, while Tolkien produced a masterpiece that incarnated the same truths in a complete, subtle, and mysterious way reflects the deeper theological differences that remained between the two men. - Rev. Dwight Longenecker on "Inside Catholic"

If [the Holy Spirit] can appear as tongues of fire over the heads of the Apostles, why not go ahead and do the same over everyone's head? We can answer such questions in a more or less convincing fashion, but whatever we come up with, we're still left with the fact that this is how the Holy Spirit prefers to operate. That is, we're still left praying that the Holy Spirit continue to work in the world through our own hearts, even in Ordinary Time. - Tom of Disputations

Day 16: Amazon Kindle, R.I.P.
        Or John Updike's Revenge

Well I just remembered why, until now, I've never been an early adopter of things technological.

Ironically, last night my stepson said mentioned something about how anything electronic is far more fragile than a physical book. Prescient he.

It could be the WASP equivalent of Montezuma's Revenge, i.e. John Updike's revenge, for at a convention of booksellers he spoke of the ideal of “the printed, bound and paid-for book” and worried that book readers and writers were “approaching the condition of holdouts, surly hermits who refuse to come out and play in the electric sunshine of the post-Gutenberg village.”

Indeed what was I thinking? From the get-go I recognized that Kindle is a Fabergé egg; users warn in the comment forum that the spring in the cursor wheel is the "weak link" and that whenever possible you should use the "enter" button instead of the cursor wheel.

Okay, I could live with that. They suggested a felt sticker pad addition, and I followed their advice by constructing a makeshift one using duct tape & Kleenex and taping it to the inside of the Kindle cover so that when it was closed it didn't depress the cursor wheel and thus wear it out. The things we do for book love.

But all that was for nought. I don't recall dropping it, but last night part of the screen suddenly froze, which I'm told is a "cracked screen" and is not fixable. Now I get to try to fight the bureaucratic hassle of getting it replaced or preferably refunded.

With books you don't have to worry about batteries, fly wheels or cracked screens; Kindle's a bit too high maintenance for my tastes.

* * *

UPDATE: To Amazon.com's credit, there was zero bureaucratic hassle. I called and immediately got a representative and after explaining the situation said he would mail out a replacement. The whole thing took no time at all. (I didn't ask for a refund - which I now regret - because I just assumed they wouldn't give allow a refund of broken merchandise.)

Clash of the Titans

Riveting, as disputations concerning important issues often are:

It’s another rich issue, featuring, for instance, the sharp exchange between N.T. Wright, the bishop of Durham, and the magazine’s editor in chief, Richard John Neuhaus. Bishop Wright complains:

Errors abound in Neuhaus’ discussion of Surprised by Hope. I do not “heap scorn” on centuries of Christian piety. I do not claim that I am the first person since the New Testament and the early Fathers to take the thoroughly orthodox view that I do; many Orthodox and Reformed theologians of the last centuries have expounded a similar view. And, despite Neuhaus’ suggestion that I think myself superior to the Angelic Doctor, it is substantially Thomas Aquinas’ view of the Resurrection to which I suggest the Church should return. The views I attempt to controvert are, in terms of overall Christian tradition, comparatively modern and mainly Western.

To which Fr. Neuhaus responds:

My chief complaint about Surprised by Hope was and is that, in its admirable advocacy of a recovery of the eschatological, it caricatures and derides centuries of Christian thought and piety, including the thought and piety of almost all Christians today, with respect to their understanding of eternal life. A cosmic and eschatological corrective is needed, but I believe it will only be effective if presented as a development, and not as a severe rupture, in the Church’s faith and life. I, too, trust that this exchange with Bishop Wright will be understood within the context of “robust friendship and indeed fellowship in the gospel of Jesus Christ.”

We Got to Pray Just to Make it Today

(FYI - I think that's the first rap song reference on this blog.)

Today's gospel reading feels like a re-enactment of Moses coming down from the Mount, only this time it's Jesus after the Transfiguration.

Moses was covered in glory, his hair white, Jesus too was covered in glory, wearing clothing whiter than any earthly bleacher could make.

But there's a difference when they come down the mountain. In the OT, the people committing sins of comission by doing what God asked them not to do, that is to carve idols. In the NT, there are sins of omission - lacking faith and not praying.

St. Alphonsus Liguori so strongly emphasizes prayer in this book that it's as if no one really recommended it before. (Although admittedly my spiritual reading list is not that extensive.)

The Word Among Us meditation for today is also helpful:

Susie was almost late for a job interview where punctuality was a must. As she pulled into the parking lot, she could see it was filled. Panicking, she prayed, “Lord, please help me find a parking spot.” As she rounded the corner, right in front of her was an empty space. She immediately prayed, “That’s okay, Lord; I found one myself.”
We may chuckle at this story, but it raises a good question: Why are we so quick to look for natural solutions and slow to look for the supernatural answers? Could it be a lack of trust in God? We read self-help books to cope with the challenges in life. We go to friends for advice on how to handle troublesome situations. We automatically call a doctor when a loved one gets sick. But we don’t think naturally about taking our challenges to Jesus, either for his intervention or for his help in persevering.

Isn’t this what happened to Jesus’ disciples when they were unable to heal the young man possessed with demons? It seems that they were relying on their own abilities instead of God’s power. Jesus told them that they were unsuccessful because “this kind can only come out through prayer” (Mark 9:29)—something they hadn’t done.

There are many reasons why we should pray, but one of the most important reasons is that we are not merely natural people. Created in the image and likeness of God, we have a spiritual dimension as well. We need to be in touch with that spiritual dimension of who we are in order to fulfill our whole person and to know the kind of peace and contentment that we all long for. Through prayer we can touch the Holy Spirit and his power in our lives, so that we are not left living as “mere mortals.” Do you believe that God’s Spirit can be a part of your life? Do you believe that you can experience his power to heal you, to lift you up, and to make you his instrument in this world? Seek Jesus in all parts of your life, and watch for the transformation that follows!

Humorous Columbus Dispatch Cartoon

Manhattan Nostalgia

I've been reading Pete Hamill's Downtown: My Manhattan and it stokes memories of my three trips to the Big Apple in '85, '92 & '98.

NYC has waned enough in memory and affection that Boston feels more my favorite, but then Boston has nothing like the Strand or Gotham Books (slogan: "Wise Men Fish Here") and New York is to cities what Warren Beatty is to Carly Simon songs. Frank Sinatra’s refrain about making it in NY always seemed to have the undeniable ring of truth. I suspect few with a competitive nature can completely resist her.

What nostalgia I feel from that first visit, back in that pre-journal age before records were kept when I stayed at the Essex House for half-price with the help of an Entertainment book coupon. How gutsy I felt, a 21-year old out of the land of Podunk and fresh out of school, driving alone right on into Manhattan, engaging in gladiatorial combat with fast-livers and finger-givers as if I owned the place and well-nigh I did in some sense for I was an American and this was the de facto capital of America. At the time I grandiosely considered it a rite of passage, the post-Vietnam equivalent of war.

I stayed at a hotel on Central Park - in close quarters with those whom I then esteemed as higher beings, New Yorkers, the denizens of Woody Allen movies. If the film Manhattan was pure fairytale, I came to see if it was real. For months I’d pored over the opening pages of the New Yorker, scouring the agate print full for locations and reviews of every blues joint and off-off-Broadway play. (Who wanted to sell-out and see a Broadway play?)

Perhaps most of our enthusiasms are ultimately derivative – much modern art is surely proof of that, having little seeming value other than the pedigree of recent authority. Reality is charismatic, and to be in the city where I considered the Real lived was heady. Slaves of New York was more than the title of a book; I was easily impressed because my appreciations were such that if the Times said something was great, then I shared in the enthusiasm. The imprimatur of hearing jazz balladeer Shirley Horn as the featured album playing at Tower records in Greenwich Village was enough for me to buy a CD. (Though she really can sing.)

In the ‘98 visit, from which records are extant, I find a letter I’d written to my out-of-town co-travellers offering a potential itinerary. Motivated by my adoration of Dorothy Parker, I’d spliced a mention of the round table at the Algonquin from the New Yorker:

“Every time we sit down at one of the plush little sofas in the oak-paneled lobby-lounge and ring the bell for a glass of Scotch we are reminded of the generations of actors and writers who have held forth here since 1902. Robert Benchley, James Thurber, HL Mencken, Dorothy Parker….Once you get there, do have a meal at the celebrated Rose or Oak room, or at least a drink in the lobby.”

I had a crush on her notwithstanding her unhappinessness and irreligion. Even her name seemed magical: Dorothy Parker, a perfect five-syllables, for all good names have either four or five syllables. It struck the right notes: “Dorothy”, redolent of “dolorous” (and thus depth), and Parker, the perky, strong name one would expect to stand up to the boys, i.e. Thurber and Benchley.

The cliché "I wouldn’t want to live there" certainly applies. It can even apply to New Yorkers - I recall Jody Bottum of "First Things" wrote something awhile back that mentioned his wish to be out West where he grew up. I was surprised to read it for I’d always had the impression that pining generally reached from the sticks to New York, rather than vice-versa.

It's a city meant for walking - begging to be walked - but there's too much city for most legs. If only one could easily walk from the Battery to Central Park! I recall a Times Magazine article from a million years ago that described the author’s weekly jaunt, a walk not terminated until he saw a celebrity. Be it twenty minutes or three hours, he walked in search of. In that article he described his latest journey, seemingly fruitless, until the redemptive denouement when Andy Rooney (!) suddenly appeared.

Re-reading my old trip log, I see that even in those bad old days we were congenitally Catholic. For of all mortal sins the easiest to avoid is missing Mass:

"St. Patrick's", I said as we entered the cab.

"Good for you!" the surprised cabbie said.

"Yeah we're paying for our sins."

The cabbie laughed and told us in broken English of his all-boy boarding school background, and how the only time they would see girls would be at church.

New York feels the most inexhaustible of cities. With Boston, I felt I could get a handle of it, but even if Manhattan could be tamed there are always the outer boroughs, Brooklyn with her fascinating Hasidics and the Bronx with the House that Ruth Built.

It feels poignant to read of what would be the first (and last) visit to the World Trade Center:

After rest and a shower, we cabbed to the south end of the island and headed up to the 107th floor of World Trade Center. The view from there captured all the elegance and magic of New York. This was first class, something that even a hardened New Yorker could enjoy. We paid dearly for it, as our $23 check attested. We'd each had one drink, and boy we savored it. Overlooking the Brooklyn bridge, looking out 20-30 miles in the distance, I etched the view in my mind.

I can’t say that I etched it well enough in mind for I wish I could recreate it now. It was beyond my powers of imagination that it would be destroyed, at least in my lifetime. And it’s funny to think of a $23 check being in any way shocking today unless it’s breakfast for two at McDonald’s.

Finally no trip down Manhattan memory lane is complete without a reference to an early memory, that of my best friend's mother teaching us to sing with a New York accent:

Give my regards to Broadway,
Remember me to Herald's Square,
Give my re-goids to old Broadway
and tell them baby I'll be there.

Funny, all those trips and I've yet to be there!

An Insider's View of Charities

Found here:

Many organizations today raise money by renting out their donor lists to companies who then sell these lists to other nonprofit organizations. That might seem a bit odd to you – why would an organization sell the names of people who support them to “competing” organizations who will then ask the same donors for money, seemingly taking away money the donor might give to the original nonprofit?

The logic? Nonprofit organizations only sell the names of their “least profitable donors.” Keep in mind that for many organizations, the average gift size of the checks they receive in the mail ranges from $12-$40. A $50 gift is therefore considered to be a substantial-sized gift, particularly if the donor makes such a gift two, three or more times each year. Accordingly, nonprofits typically only rent out the names of donors who make gifts under $50, keeping the names of the donors who make $50+ donations carefully under wraps. So if you want to limit the number of direct mail pieces in your mailbox, make fewer, but larger, gifts.

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Given that fundraising can be extremely expensive for nonprofits, help them out by making their fundraising more efficient...As much as possible, make donations by check versus credit card, as it costs an organization less money to process a check gift versus a credit card gift. A $50 gift by check might cost an organization $0.20 to process the donation, but a $50 credit card gift might cost them $1.50 to process the donation. While studies show that donors who give by credit card are typically younger and send in larger gifts, both demographic variables extremely important to organizations and therefore they gladly accept credit card gifts, keep in mind a large credit card gift of $1,000 might cost your nonprofit $30 vs. the $0.20 for a check.

Conversion Story

Musician David MacDonald's conversion story. Wow.

I looked at those vintage '70s pictures and thought: "he's got to be the same age as me" but soon I was reading for the riveting story rather than his age.

Too much to excerpt but a snippet or two:

One day a guy watched me for about 30 minutes 'til I took a break. Then he came over and chatted. He said he liked my music and I asked him if he played. He said "not really, I'm into acting." He was young and beginning an acting career. He lived across the bridge in New Jersey. We talked about trying to make it in the Big Apple. We got along quite well and he gave me his number. I didn't think much about it and I never got around to calling him. A year later the movie "Risky Business" came out. The picture in the poster looked a lot like the guy I had talked to in the Subway. So I went home and looked him up in my phone book. The name I had written down was "Tom Cruise." I called the number but he had moved and I never saw him again. I thought to myself "if he can make it, so can I." I didn't realize that it took more than will power and hard work to succeed in New York.
* * *
In retrospect, it was the greatest moment of clarity I've ever had. However, as the philosopher Keirkegaard explains, there is a cost to making an "absurd" decision for God. Sometimes that which follows is hard. We step forward with "fear and trembling" (Mar 5:33, 2 Co 7:15, Phil 2:12). Abraham was not spared the dread of looking into the eyes of Issac as he lifted the knife, (Gen 22:1-19) Mary was not spared the pain of being misunderstood by Joseph (before the angel visited him - Mat 1:24); the apostles were not spared the fear of their faith as early Christians (Acts), and I was not spared emotional turmoil of giving up everything with which I identified. Nor was I spared the dread of being misunderstood by my relatives who believed I had gone mad. So the paradox of a decision for God, as Keirkegaard explains, is that the "closer we come to the Absolute, through inwardness, the less we are understood by the outside world."

* * *
Mary

Younger than Springtime

"French novelist Georges Bernanos describes the Virgin's gaze in these words: 'It is not the look of indulgence...but of tender compassion, pained surprise. It is the look that reveals the inconceivable purity which makes her younger than sin, younger than the race from which she has sprung. Though she is the mother for and of grace, she is also the youngest member of the human race.'"

- Cdl Bertone's The Last Secret of Fatima