Dean calls Republicans 'Evil' & His Supporters Object
TAMPA,Fl--Howard "MoJo" Dean said today that the Democratic party is engaged in a "struggle of good and evil - and we're the good."
The crowd applauded, with the exception of a small group of satan worshippers. Holding signs that said "Satanists for Dean", many were upset by Dean's disparagement of evil.
"I wish he wouldn't have gone there," said a young man wearing a 'Charles Manson for President' t-shirt. "I was with him when he said this was a struggle between good and evil, but not when he said we were on the side of good."
A young woman who asked not to be identified said that although she cringed when she heard it, she tried to give him the benefit of the doubt.
"When Howard left his denomination for the sake of a bike path that was certainly a good thing. Same with his views on abortion. So I guess it depends on the definition of good, though I'm not sure I like that he's trying to give evil a bad name."
Paging Mr. Bias
WASHINGTON D.C.--Former press secretary Ari "The Hit Man" Fleischer accused the press of bias in a recently published book. Meanwhile the press's press spokesman said the former press spokesman's charges are biased. Pee Wee Herman answered for both saying, "I know you are, but what am I?".
Investigators have located a Mr. Liberal T. Bias of Manhattan, but he was unavailable for comment. Bill O'Reilly said he was "hiding under his desk". Mr. Fleischer suggested he was "bound, gagged and undergoing torture at the behest of the New York Times". The New York Times stated that he did not exist, hinting that the investigators were being paid by Bush operatives.
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