Understanding Love (and other oxymorons)
Alas, “it used to be so natural” to quote the old Neil Diamond song “You Don’t Bring Me Flowers Anymore”. Love that is. It was simply acting on an feeling or inspiration to do someone good. Feeling? Or inspiration? Is there a difference?
A loved one (pun intended) loved (pun intended) the quote I posted from C.S. Lewis. It confirmed that doing things for others doesn’t necessarily make you happy, which surprised her. And I was somewhat surprised that she was surprised. It's better to give than to receive, but I wasn't under the impression that that meant in this life. But reading Kreeft's book, perhaps I am mistaken.
Now we all know love is not an emotion, not a feeling. Got it. But apparently it’s not not an emotion either. Because Peter Kreeft writes that if we do something uncheerfully it is not love. Isn’t cheerfulness an emotion? Kreeft refers to St. Paul’s famous passage in 1 Cor 13: “If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.” In other words, the simple will to love is not enough. There must be more. Kreeft writes that God doesn't want works of love, but love. From the heart, that most affective instrument.
To further complicate matters, love includes being harsh to those who need it, kind to those who need it. So if your feeling/inspiration tells you to be kind and kindness is needed then that feeling was an inspiration and love, otherwise it was just a feeling and a potentially destructive one.
I’m embarrassed to be writing about love (“you’ve been with me so long Thomas and you know me not…?”) but then I started reading commentaries on 1 Cor 13 and felt a bit better given the confusion. The Haydock notes to the Douay Rheims says that 1 Cor 13:2-3 proves that “faith without good works, and especially charity for God and our neighbour, cannot avail to eternal life; faith and charity are both essentially necessary”. The Jerome Biblical commentary suggests that love is not within our innate ability, which makes sense given that you must do good for another but must be given supernatural means to know what that good is: “This is supernatural love, what theology terms the virtue of charity. It is distinguished sharply in v. 3 from philanthropy and humanitarianism.”
Orchard’s commentary has an interesting take: “almsgiving is among the charismata in Rom 12:8. It must mean almsgiving on a heroic scale….The two best Greek manuscripts read: ‘If I lay down my life for vainglory and have no love’”. Now at least that one is pretty clear. It speaks to motivations, not feelings. I think I'll quit while I'm behind.
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