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...Because I Just Love Writing Fiction

Rob Meyers was twelve years old when he became acquainted with the television show “Wonder Woman”. He was surprised the bad guys weren't distracted by her outfit and why it seemed she didn't get more mileage out of that. Didn’t Batman use his good looks to trap Cat Woman at least once? Why shouldn’t Wonder Woman do the same? He congratulated himself for his fairness and wondered if that made him as a feminist.

He felt close to the actress Linda Carter because she looked like the 16-year old who babysat him when he was ten and whom he had a secret crush on. All crushes at that age were secret so that was redundant, but her proximity was an additional aphrodesiac since she lived right next door. She wore the hotpants that were the fashion in the ‘70s and used to loudly play a song on her stereo with the lyric, "I love to ride my bicycle, I love to ride my bike”. He could very much relate to that song since he loved riding his bicycle too. He felt they had much in common.

One night, as he was taping over the Beatles “Yellow Submarine” in favor of the theme to “Buck Rogers of the 25th Century”, he asked her if they could order a pizza but she said no because it caused “zits”. He didn’t have any zits but never really noticed if she had any either. That would involve too close a study, and he felt worshipped objects should not be subjected to such rude scrutiny.

The next day, while using a tape measure to determine how far he could long jump, the babysitter came home from her glamorous high school life. He watched dumbfounded as a teenage boy dropped her off from school. He wondered if he was her boyfriend. He didn’t like it. He liked it better when she rode the bus like everybody else.

He went to the backyard to think it over, and to see if the Phillies could beat the Dodgers on his Pitchback. “Pitchback” was a large net mounted on a pole with a square in the middle indicating the strike zone. He took his cap and after making a quick writing motion in the air (he was right-handed) he laid the cap against the left side of his chest and sang the Star Spangled Banner.

“Play ball!” he said, as Davey Lopes stepped to the plate...