Sleep comes in fits and starts for the read-deprived. My dreams feel contrived compared to the ocean that awaits in the bookroom. And some of the stories contained therein nag for their lack of ending.
I spent part of my reading life this weekend caught up in the drama of Isak Dinesen's real life. Hers was an undeniable but often misdirected courage. A natural contrarian, she flailed at whoever was in authority causing her values and beliefs to fluctuate accordingly. Her allergy to the bourgeois in religion would seem to make her good ground for the gospel message if unfit for the Victorian obsession with appearances. But she saw the sexual norms of the bible and church not in terms of heroism but joyless puritanism.
I follow the ups & downs of her story:
She has syphilis!Say what!? Well there are three references in the biography mentioning her vowing herself to Lucifer. Surely she jests? There's little accompanying detail, other than to say that she did it in exchange for receiving her stories. Which makes reading her stories seem like an ill-gotten gain.
Oh -- she got it from her philandering husband.
She divorces him?
No - he divorces her! She'd forgiven him. Wow.
She loves God!
No - she sold her soul to the devil.
Is there not a symmetry to pacts with Satan compared to our relationship with God?
With Satan:There is the natural - and naturally impossible - desire to discern the state of her soul at the end of her life. One can have no tragedies in life, not if one hopes Hell is empty, though I recognize the futility of that particular bit of cognitive dissonance. Still there's nothing more alarming to a sheep than seeing another one cliff-diving, though admittedly most don't know what they're doing. It is consoling to know we have a Savior who will search for the one sheep amid the hundred.
you choose him, he doesn't choose you
With God:
He chooses you, you don't choose Him
With Satan:
You give him nothing, with the assurance of receiving something (in this life)
With God:
We give him everything, with no assurance of receiving something (in this life)
With God:
eternal life
With Satan:
eternal death
No comments:
Post a Comment