...that somehow didn't make the satirical blog. Not sure why they were sitting in the draft folder. (And comedy is a terrible thing to waste.)
Jack Chick Torn Over Brown's "DaVinci Code"
JOHNSON CITY, TN--Comic book evanglist Jack Chick said he can't make up his mind about Dan Brown's "The DaVinci Code".
"I love the anti-Catholicism. Brown's a man after my own heart when it comes to that whiff of Whore of Babylon stuff. But I'm troubled by his saying Jesus was married to Mary Magdalan. There's no Scripture to back that up. Reading that book is like eating ice cream with a manure topping. I just have mixed emotions..."
Benedict XVI Hires PR Firm to Overcome Rottweiler Image
VATICAN CITY--The Washington Post has learned that Pope Benedict XVI has retained the services of the prestigious public relations firm Liebowitz & Associates to counter falling poll numbers among American Catholics.
The firm's head, Edgar Liebowitz, will personally handle the case and has guaranteed a certain number of column inches, air time, sound bites, Web hits, and at least one feature in an influential journal. He also hopes to win the Pope a Nobel Prize.
Mr. Liebowitz plans to effect greater customer awareness of Catholicism (referred to as "branding") as well as a specific number of converts within a specific timeframe.
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