No, God isn't cruel. But Bingo, like Limbo, is an eternal place between the Beatific vision and Hell if far closer to the latter. And today our contestants were noticeably irritable and not exactly imbued with the holiday or heavenly spirit. One lady, upon hearing our caller express sorrow, blurted in his direction: "you are sorry, at least you got that right."
Later, when two co-workers gathered to help the caller out of some technical difficulty someone else said, "it takes three Polacks to fix that?" I told her that ironically one of them was of Polish descent.
My free pedometer - courtesy my employer (who wants us to start exercising and thinks it might be a prod) - said I'd walked 5,541 steps tonight which is roughly 5,501 more than I would have had I been home enjoying the nirvana of an old Office episode and 30 Rock. Not to mention the 3 1/2 hours of standing, which is "the new black" when it comes to weight control. (By the way, when will something actually become black enough to replace black as the exemplar of things hip? Or has 'gay' already achieved that status?)
I walked by a mother wearing a shirt with flowery advertising: "Mothers: angelic creatures who...." which continued in that fulsome praise vein. However true, it seems a tad unseemly to walk around in a shirt praising yourself. And speaking of mothers, we found out tonight that the eighteen-year-old who has what looks like Mick Jagger-size lips tattooed to her neck does, in fact, have Mick Jagger-size lips tattooed to her neck. She reports that they are her boyfriend's (who must've had a collagen injection or two). When a co-worker asked, "what happens if you break up with him and have to go through life with his lips on your neck?" she retorted that he would never leave her "since he is the father of my child". 'Nuff said, as they say.
We had a few young new faces tonight, where young is defined as not yet AARP-eligible. They were resistant to instant winner tickets which is probably a good thing. One grizzled old veteran bought twenty and showed me where the winner would be, about mid-deck. I hoovered nearby ready for an "I told you so" but he got the $150 ticket so who knows, maybe he knows what he's talking about. Maybe I should buy a few of these. When in Limbo do as the Limboians do, right?
Update: Oh, I forgot one other anecdote. I was picking up more instant winner tickets and the deputy from the sheriff's office, who makes sure no one tries to steal our money, was handcuffing co-worker Kim for a joke. After my obligatory, "you can tell she's done that before. And likes it!" he started walking towards me and I uttered those immortal words, "Don't taze me bro!". Man, but I've been waiting to deliver that line in an appropriate situation for months now!
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