January 05, 2010

Creative Writing, Nigerian Scammer Edition

Received this:
Dear E-mail Account Owner,

You email address have been awarded the total lump sum of $650,000.00 (six hundred and fifty thousand USD) in our New Year/Eid online promo You were randomly selected from a list of e-mails collated globally from (WWW)
...and this:

This is to bring to your notice that, I have paid the re-activation fee and the delivery charge of your ATM CARD.I paid it because the ATM CARD worthy of (USD$2.5MILLION),has less than 21 days to expire and when it expires, the money will divert and forfeited into Government purse (account).

With that I decided to help you pay the money so that, the ATM CARD will not expire, because I know when you get your ATM CARD definitely you must pay me back my money and even compensate me for helping you. Now I want you to contact Fedex Express Company with your Full Contact information’...
* * *

You never give up
you never say die
you write like the wind
'thout hesitating to lie.

Whenever a number
appears in your prose
you repeat it in characters
as if offering a rose.

Poet Nigeriette
many miles away
you're efforts at English
oft fail to sway.

You scatter much seed
you send quite a scatter
emails by thousands
hoping some may just matter.

You rock in type-ariums
to the rhythms of clatter
with a touch of the formal
and a good deal of flatter.

You sanction your work
by greed of receiver
you think it's okay
"that gullible believer!"

They roll in with the tide
like form letters structured
though never a once
is a poem there constructured

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