May 24, 2011

The SYSTM System

Note: In my continuing attempt to not just jump the shark on this blog but to jump the whale, I hereby offer my advice on what to do with creeping weight gain.
You've seen ads for weight-loss products and exercise equipment complete with before and after photos promising a new and fitter body.

Well there's a little secret I've discovered that provides the same results with no calorie counting or tiresome exercise routines! For just $19.95, you'll receive the secret of my fitter and leaner body.

But don't trust me. Let the results speak for themselves! Here are actual unretouched photos taken before and after the new SYSTM system:

Note flabby "beer belly" stomach.

After the SYSTM system (this photo taken just three seconds after the photo above):

Note the toned, slimmed down stomach.

The SYSTM system is a marvel in simplicity and has been used in cultures since the beginning of time. For $19.95 plus $19.95 in shipping and handling, you'll receive the secret behind this time-honored system such as what SYS stands for ("suck in your stomach"). You'll also received detailed instructions when to use SYS (when shirt off, at beach, or in presence of attractive woman). If you act now, you'll also receive a handy fake barbell with the motto "SYS instead!" on it at no extra charge!


BettyDuffy said...

Sign me up!

Fred said...

Oh no you didn't!

TS said...

And I wasn't even drinking Fred!