June 03, 2004

The Air and Water Diet

So I was standing in line waiting for something called the "Mexican Sizzlin' Salad", a welcome conglomeration of chicken, beans, lettuce, tomatoes and cheese served in a large tortilla bowl. There appeared to be two stacks of tortilla shells with a sign that offered a "low carb" option.

My wife's on something called "The South Beach Diet" and we joke that I'm on the "North Beach Diet" - lots of bread, cereals, and alcohol. So I thought what the heck, I'll try the low carb option today. Those shells looked pretty darn similar to me and there's no use in useless carbs. So when it was my turn I quietly asked for the low carb edition.

Well it turns out the low carb edition looks awfully similar to the no carb edition. They simply proffer you no shell. I believe in duty, God and country but not in changing an order and thus making people behind me suffer for my change of mind, so I grimaced and bore it. I know y'all are impressed.

As I move away the very overweight woman behind me is speaking loudly for my benefit: "I'll have the FULL carb. None of that low carb stuff for me." Cruelty thy name is woman.

I understand the cafeteria's offering a new low-carb drink. It's called water.
Bone's Story

Speaking of the regenerative aspects of vacation, just how regenerative is a sabbatical? That's what Ham of Bone had for the past year and I could wish he were a blogger who would give - in the immortal words of Cincinnati talk show host/raconteur Willie Cunningham - "a full report". How can I live it vicariously when Bone's so niggardly with the play-by-play?

Long-time readers and first time callers will recall the saga of Ham of Bone. Smart guy and a hard-worker, Bone got caught looking for another job and was given the axe and has exhausted the unemployment compensation. He's now really looking for a job.

Part of the lure of sabbaticals, voluntary or otherwise, is they unfracture time, unparcelling it and altering its "if it's Tueday and 4:30 I'm doing this" quality. Vacations also restore the senses, especially the sense of sight which is always the first to go. I drive to work and most days couldn't tell you one thing I saw. Worse, I can eat dinner with my wife and never really see her. Hearing, smell, taste and touch seem a bit more insulated from the ravages of art-poor living.

I sense that renewal is a process, not an event. When I catch myself engaging in negative emotions it's usually because of a faulty world view. If I'm discouraged it's insufficient belief in God's power. If I feel self-pity, it's due to a sense of entitlement and presumption. If I'm hurt, it's often pride. Angry, anger. Lustful, lust. Not exactly brain surgery but no one equates goodness with intelligence. This is not to say we should be emotionless robots but I do wonder at the negative emotions as a symptom of something else.

But back to Bone. His year had much to show for it. Three screenplays, lots of quality time with the children (I can't speak to quality time with the wife) and lots of reading. He says the year went by fast and I don't doubt it did. I'd always wanted to save up money and take a year off work but by the time I saved up the requisite money I realized two things:

a) a year is to a 30-year old what 3-months is to a 15-year old. In other words, time speeds up as you age in sensation though not in reality and this cheapens the value of a year off.

b) one looks askance at the idea of needlessly devastating the nest egg. See Albert Brooks' "Lost in America" for details.

Thoreau cautioned the poet against waiting to retirement to begin his art, but you gotta eat too. Can you have your art and eateth too? I guess if you own a blog!
Beachy Goodness

Please excuse a certain amount of giddiness as I approach the upcoming week at the beach. I look forward to it for possible regenerative possibilities both bodily and spiritual because I hope to do some spiritual reading on the trip between the long sandy runs. The "Hope Springs Eternal" department sees to it that I always bring Love and Responsibility along and it bears the scars. It got soaked by seawater one summer, victim of a rising tide. Fortunately the pages didn't stick together so it's still readable.

Good intentions often suffer. A tendency to save the best for last can be self-destructive. Perhaps I should save O'Reilly's "Those Who Trespass" for last this time.

Because I tend to be more monogamous in my reading habits during vacations, trips often become bonded in my mind to a certain book. For example, Sanibel Island reminds me of Russell Kirk's "Sword of Imagination". The Caribbean cruise calls forth Roth's "The Human Stain". A vacation to Hilton Head back in '89 reminded me of a book about the three popes of 1978 and explored Pope John Paul I's mysterious death. There's anticipation in wondering what this year's book will be.
*

Apropos of nothing, but it occurs to me how tremendously well nature parallels the spiritual world, not surprising given God created both. And not just the dying and rebirth as shown in the seasons but also the parallel of trust a child has for his father. This is exactly the same trust we must cultivate for God. The child hears for the first time about sex, for example, and it's not intuitive that this activity would bring great joy. But the parent explains despite the child's protestations to the contrary that sex is fun. The child's experience is that the opposite sex is yucky and thinks this sort of clinical procedure can be ruled out as fun apriori. And yet...the father is proven right.

Note to Bill Luse: be careful what you wish for. I've decided to let loose with a torrent of posts today so that you'll have a lot to read while I'm gone. *grin*

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Watched part of the library-rented "Gangs of New York" Scorsese film because I was curious about the recreation of the infamous Five Points era of 1850s New York City. I'm a sucker for period pieces and I'd read a book about the Five Points so there was a natural interest there. Not to mention that Irish connection since so many of the residents were Irish immigrants. It's a bracing antidote to sepia-tinged nostalgia - the inhumanity is startling.

*
I recently read "The Human Stain" and it's such a surprise to read about someone who wants to so utterly define themselves outside of race and religion. There are those who want nothing to do with their heritage and I can't understand that. If I fall into any of the positive stereotypes of my background I rejoice because it gives a sense of belonging - I'm a member of this group because I've been gifted with this trait. Any negative stereotypes of a heritage are also good because it lessens culpability and allievates some personal responsibility. And I'm all for that for me of course. Don't try that at home.
She Said What?

Al Gore's former campaign manager, Donna Brazille, recently said that if the Dems lose this election they'll be wandering in the wildnerness forever.

I really don't understand that. If they lose this election, they'll still have their shining star in Hilary Clinton for '08. The Republicans will be left with who? Mayor Guliani? Schwarzneggar? No way, not given their pro-death stance. The Republican party will fracture if it tries to elect a pro-abort politician. Not to mention that the demographics all favor the Democrats in the years ahead.

Regardless, this election looks more and more dire. But perhaps the media will get Bush re-elected. How's that? Maybe the elite media will overreach in its hatred of Bush and create a sympathetic backlash.
Drawing Lines

It seems as though what is so obviously "over the top" in regard to letters like the one sent by the leader of Human Life International is in the eye of the beholder, sort of like pornography. To call that letter heavy-handed is like saying Idi Amin was just grumpy. (Not to be sarcastic.) But is not the spirit with which something is composed important too, and not just the message itself? Is satire often wrong because it is by its nature ridiculing? A NYT review of a recent book had it: "One of the unexpected depths of this book is the real moral grappling with satire itself, the way it demeans and wounds, as well as enlightens and amuses." Personally, I didn't find the sarcasm in this letter all that funny. (To be honest, if the brilliant but deadly Rev. George Rutler had written Nancy Pelosi I'd probably have more trouble knocking it...) About the best you can say is that it refutes Yeats' line about the "best lacking all conviction", at least in the sense that this Reverend is defending "the best" - children who are being murdered. It does seem as though he undermines his own argument by saying that her letter manifested an "utterly infantile understanding of the Catholic Faith" which means that her culpability is lessened, unless that infantile understanding is willed.

Here is the original:

My rewrite:

Dear Congresswoman Pelosi,

Thank you for clarifying for all U.S. Catholics the meaning of the word "apostasy." Your May 10 letter to Cardinal McCarrick qualifies for what the Catechism of the Catholic Church defines as the "total repudiation of the Christian faith" (§2089). That, by the way, is a document you may wish to consult before writing another letter to a prince of Christ's Church.

Not only did your letter manifest an utterly infantile [incomplete] understanding of the Catholic Faith-the Blessed Sacrament is properly called the Eucharist, not the "sacrament of holy communion," please-it was intellectually dishonest in the extreme. Your lip service paid to the teaching office of the bishops while knifing [undermining] their authority in the back is a treachery that deserves the scathing contempt of every honest person, Catholic or otherwise.

You have lost your faith. Just admit it. One either accepts the hierarchy of truths and the hierarchy of authority, or she doesn't. You obviously don't. In such case by continuing to call yourself Catholic you are gambling with the most precious of all birthrights, your own soul; and it's yours to lose. I can understand that it is not politically correct to care about your immortal soul-prescription drug benefits are more popular in Washington-but at least have the decency not to make the souls of others "twice as fit for hell" as you. Have you forgotten about the millstone? The Lord delivered that image to another group of sophisticated public officials who scandalized the weak in faith.

All those who dare call themselves Catholic while shamelessly advocating the death of Christ's "least brethren" will not have the Supreme Court to appeal to on the Day of Judgment. There is a Supreme Judge that you should be more concerned about. However, He obliges no one to remain in the Catholic Church. Membership is, above all, a free "choice." The door of the Church that opens wide to welcome every repentant sinner swings both ways. In the Name of Jesus, use it and spare the rest of us your perversity.

I hold out hope that some day you will see the light and want to reconcile with the Church you have so brazenly betrayed. If so, call me. I will hear your confession. But get ready to do some serious penance.

June 02, 2004

Graves Ain't What They Used To Be

There were pictures in the local paper today featuring the latest in tombstone fashions. And it depressed me. Lots of Dale Earnhardt stones and favorite pro sports team monuments and carved likenesses of yourself with the message "Ken's Gone Fishin'".

It depresses me because worse than death is to trivialize death. And I long - nay ache - for centuries past when their stones shared a favorite verse of Scripture. A whole lifetime summed up in a verse. (I'm currently liking "by His stripes we are healed".) It's cool to think that you can speak to people even on your tombstone, maybe have some influence. It certainly is more dignified, perhaps because our relation to God is what gives us dignity. Not our hobbies. I think that's why it's sickening to me to see Earnhardt etched in marble, it just seems an absurd reduction, a waste.

I don't think about Heaven much for a couple reasons. One is that it likely won't be my first stop (i.e. see Purgatory) and I have a tendency to focus on the next leg of the journey rather than the finish line. Two, I can't fathom it, so attempts to do so seem painful, like off-key notes. Whatever heaven is, I can't imagine it involving Nascar races or the Bengals winning games. And even though I'm Irish I'm not a big fan of harp music. Maybe that sounds overly gnostic - God made bodies and we're going to have them again and so I shouldn't be so off-put about earthly things and of a new earth. The best I can figure heaven is the closest you ever felt to God on earth magnified a hundred times or so. And serious unconditional love. Beats them seventy-six virgins the Muslims get, don't it?
Matthew 19:14

Scott Hahn offers a pleasant image in trying to understand St. Paul's words that we are "co-workers with God". "What does that mean?" he asked, "that God can't get the job done on his own?"

He said he was out jogging one day when he saw a father cutting grass while his four-year old son weaved in and out of the path with his little plastic mower. The father looked frustrated and Scott wondered how he'd handle it. Hahn circled the block and when he jogged past again he found the father guiding the mower with his right hand while holding his son in his left, who gleefully pushed with both hands, thrilled to be helping.

Scott points out that this wasn't the easiest way for the father to mow the grass but it was the most fatherly way. Similarly God doesn't need our help but elevates us and allows us to collaborate with Him in order to manifest his fatherliness.
Less Moore, More Filling

You probably heard by now that Michael Moore won an award at Al Jazeera Film Festival. Well one good satire deserves another. What if Osama bin Laden took note? (Whoda thunk they had cable access in those Pakastani caves? Modern technology!).

I located a short tape of bin Laden congratulating Moore:
Transcript of Osama bin Laden videotape
June 1, 2004 Posted: 2:25 PM EST (1925 GMT)

The following transcript of a videotape of Osama bin Laden talking with others, translated from Arabic into English, was issued by the U.S. Department of Defense. He is identified as UBL in the transcript.

(Transcript and annotations independently prepared by T.S. O'Rama, translator, Diplomatic Blogging Services.)

Shaykh: (...inaudible...) You have given us weapons, you have given us hope and we thank Allah for you. Say, didja hear Michael Moore won "Best Documentary in the Propagandist Category" over at that Allie Jeer?

UBL: Yes, thanks to Allah. I appreciate this Michael Moore. He "gets it". He's one American I'd kill semi-reluctantly. Still kill him, but make it quick. [And that's when we lost transmission.]
DVD Widescreen or Fullscreen?

My wife bought me a DVD player for our fifth anniversary which means that I can no longer proudly say "I don't own a DVD player". I like to nourish my individuality (as well as a sense that I'm not completely matierialistic) by not buying every new toy that comes down the pike. Fortunately I still don't own a cell phone. (Individuality can be so inconvenient, can't it?)

My question to you is this: I'm about to pre-order TPOTC and I can't decide between widescreen and fullscreen. My understanding is the widescreen has those annoying black bars at top and bottom, cutting off precious inches from my 27inch television. So I'm thinking about going with the "fullscreen" option but am also loathe to miss any film, since they have to actually cut out stuff in order to fit. Your thoughts on this amazingly trivial matter?

Update: The ayes have it. Everyone says "widescreen" although I should've asked what size their TVs were.
Oy vey...

Uh...you mean this isn't a parody? It's an actual letter?

I'm no fan of Pelosi, but that's an embarrassment. Jesus wasn't big into taunting and name-calling. If you're in the futures market for civil discourse, short it.
    Spanning the Proverbial Globe to Bring You the Constant Variety of Posts

He who wishes for anything but Christ, does not know what he wishes; he who asks for anything but Christ, does not know what he is asking; he who works, and not for Christ, does not know what he is doing. – St. Philip Neri

as y’all know i just started selling avon. well, let me tell you something, with the way some people act you’d think i was peddling dope. today, one woman cringed when i showed her a brochure; yes. she actually cringed like i was trying to hand her a poopy diaper instead of a little avon brochure. i offered another female a brochure and she sneered, “i don’t need any of that.” i swear i thought she was gonna pimp-slap me. what’s going on here?... when the “no” is at least civil, it’s much easier to try to not take it personally and go on my merry way. however, you treat me like a walking hemorrhoid and my feelings get hurt. - smockmomma

The brighter and more imaginative you are the more fearful you will be. We get more fearful as we get older because we become more experienced. - Vernon Coleman

Lots of questions running through my mind now...and how to reconcile them to one another to form a coherent, legitimate, and above all, Christian, answer to the question that constitutes my life. But the answer should not just be Christian for the sake of sake of appearing Christian but Christian because you truly love Christ for what He is and despite the little you know of Him or understand His ways, you still want to emulate His example in every little way, in every faculty, with every pore of your being, in every moment. Not to demonstrate or show off to others, consciously or otherwise, what Christians should be, but because there is simply no other better alternative for you. To be like Christ or not to be. 'Not to be' would be out of question for a believer, while 'to be' seems to require too much from the person. Being contented with the middle-ground stand, i.e. being lukewarm, is not viable either since it is rather tantamount to players anticipating failure at the start of a football match and thus, not much effort is being put into scoring a goal or keeping your opponents from scoring. The end result? It would certainly not be hard to guess. There are lots of people who are plagued with these questions as well, and now's my turn, I suppose. The beauty of it all is that there will not be a stock answer to this eternal Christian question. That is, everyone may know what one ought to be: "You must be a good Christian. You must love God. You must love your neighbour as you love yourself. You must be meek and humble of heart. You must love the poor and your enemy...." The same end result is required from all of us, but from the starting point, everyone's journey diverges because of the differences in our personalities, our backgrounds, our train of thoughts, our aspirations and expectations. Some paths may converge from time to time, to bolster us up and serve as encouragement, but even so, it is a uniquely personal and individual journey that could resemble another but yet is not wholly similar in nature either. Therein lies the creativity of the Holy Spirit. But for us who cannot fathom the ways of the Lord, what an utter mystery it is! And how it often seems as if we are groping in the dark! - half-baked taters

Where shall we find God? Sometimes he is hidden under poverty, as he was the day he was born. Other times he is disfigured by the sins of man, as he was on the day of his torture. And then there are times that we are so self-absorbed by our own despair that we can not see him even though he stands in our midst arrayed in beauty, just as the disciples missed him on the road to Emmaus. I pray that God will allow me to discover his hiding places. I hope that I can see him under some unexpected mask and that the Holy Spirit will train my eyes to see past the disguises that hide my Lord, the way that Veronica saw the Christ under his injuries. - Mary of Ever-New

It's not really very clear if the church body's goals are that different from the goals of any decent-minded person. Make the world as peaceful and happy as possible. Avoid war as much as possible. Gain the world's respect. All those are worthy goals, and few would disagree with them, but that's why Mark didn't really see it as falling under religious expertise. Do Christians have anything unique to bring here? - Camassia

Scruples and melancholy, get out of my house! - St. Philip Neri

Since, as you say, the teaching on the death penalty is inferior to that on abortion, asking me to give equal submission of mind and will to both is like asking me to assent equally to the teaching on limbo and the dogma of the Holy Trinity. A perhaps more interesting question is why you would want it to be so. -William Luse

One of the thousands of library books that haven't been taken out in ten years or more is Tuscans and their Families: A Study of the Florentine Catasto of 1427 by David Herlihy and Christiane Klapische-Zuber. - Enbrethiliel of Sancta Sanctis...I'm shocked this hasn't been taken out more frequently. Just shocked.

How outrageous do I have to be? Only one brave soul has commented on my last two (possibly controversial) posts. - Henry Dieterich of "A Plumbline in the Wind"

By "liberal" I mean nothing more than a personality for whom orthodoxy and the conservative status quo, no matter how correct, will always be somewhat unsatisfying -- a personality that occasionally flaunts tradition and teases the borders of propriety, not because he actively opposes them, but because he doesn't quite fit them. This sort of liberal doesn't want to re-make the world in his own image, he merely wants the least place at the foot of the table for himself and his fellows. He will bow to the rules of the house but he has genuine difficulty observing them. The key, however, is this: In order for such liberal personalities to exist at all, there has to be an orthodoxy to begin with, there has to be a tradition to flaunt, there must be borders to tease, and there must be propriety to stretch. Insofar as the present reign of Liberalism seems intent on dissolving these things, it is the true enemy of a liberal personality. -Jeff Culbreath of ECR

God bless anyone who's reading this. - Bob of "Trousered Ape"
There but for the grace of God...

I recently saw a car with the license plate "BLOGGER". God help us. Has it come to that? I picked up speed and drew up next to him wondering what a blogger looks like. (I hadn't looked in the mirror that morning.)

Yep. White guy. Early to mid 40s. Receding hairline. Mustache.

Except for the hairline & mustache it coulda been me.

But here's the really sad thing:



It's captioned "Richard Wiggins did not abandon his Web log while on vacation in Key West, Fla."

Well, I'll be on a beach in South Carolina next week and have no plans to blog. If you see posts here, I'm in worse shape than I thought.

June 01, 2004

Quotes I've Collected

"Every day is a gift - even if it sucks." -- Sherry Hochman
"There's never enough time unless you're serving it" - Malcolm Forbes
"All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height." -- Casey Stengel
"The faster we go, the longer it takes." - Einstein
"The highest form of bliss is living with a certain degree of folly" - Erasmus
"The majority of men are subjective toward themselves and objective toward all others. The real task is in fact to be objective toward oneself and subjective toward all others." - Kierkegaard.
"Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer." --Dave Barry
"Impartiality is a pompous name for indifference, which is an elegant name for ignorance." - Chesterton
"I am not deprecating your individual talent, Joseph," the Bishop continued, "but, when one thinks of it, a soup like this is not the work of one man. It is the result of a constantly refined tradition. There are nearly a thousand years of history in this soup." - Willia Cather
"Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again." -- F.P. Jones
"The whole pleasure of marriage is that it is a perpetual crisis." - Chesterton on Dickens, 1911
"I bought some powdered water, but I don't know what to add to it." -- Steven Wright
"Logic merely enables one to be wrong with authority." -- Doctor Who
"And now here is my secret, a very simple secret; it is only with the heart that one can see rightly, what is essential is invisible to the eye." -- Saint-Exupery
Mr. Luse Returneth

Nice to see him back. Bill Luse of Apologia writes with abandon and makes no apologies with his latest post, a real stem-winder. He wasn't kidding about not having writer's block. Yet he says of his recent quietitude, "And then (to be perfectly honest) there’s the problem of feeling that one has nothing important to say, or nothing that makes any difference. It’s not writer’s block, because I can write on any number of things in any variety of directions till the sun blinks out. It just doesn’t seem important."

My gosh Bill I didn't know importance and influence were relevant. If they were, would I blog spam poetry? I figure it's better than watching TV though not as good as spending time with family. Whether it's as well-spent as waxing Elizabeth's car I dunno.
Heavy Load

I have to fight a tendency to despise Catholics like Garry Wills, John Cornwell and pro-abort politicians.

There is no such tendency with respect to Andrew Sullivan. With Wills, Cornwell and politicians there is a degree of distance: writers Wills & Cornwell skew history and politicians politic in order to get elected. But with Sullivan you can see it's personal. We know where he's coming from.

His tendency to want to redefine sin is understandable. I watched the movie "Miracle" over the weekend (about the 1980 US Olympic hockey team's victory) and U.S. coach Herb Brooks kept emphasizing the need to "sacrifice for the unknown". What was unknown was how they would do at the Games. He could guarantee them nothing but asked them to sacrifice all the same. We're all called to sacrifice, i.e. carry our crosses, and some look heavier than others. Sullivan's is no splinter. He would have to go without sex the rest of his life, and that's large, as my stepson would say.

There seems little artifice from him. He wears his heart on his sleeve and if he looks at the world through the prism of his personal cross I can't bear him ill will. The reason "Mothers Against Drunk Driving" is so effective is because the group elicits similar sympathy. It wouldn't behoove us to let MADD make our alcohol laws - they would enact a second Prohibition if they could - but one can look at them with sympathy for the cross they've carried.