Bill Luse's recent foray into responding to solicitous emails (a new form of blogger comedy?) "inspires" this post.
I received this Yahoo! calendar invitation recently:
By your host: Melo IbrahimTo which I reply:
Message: DEAR FRIEND,
I AM MELOIBRAHIM. I WORK IN THE FOREIGN REMITTANCE DEPARTMENT, BANK OF AFRICA(BOA) OUAGADOUGOU BURKINA FASO.
I HAVE A BUSINESS WHICH WILL BE BENEFICIAL TO BOTH OF US. THE AMOUNT OF MONEY INVOLVED IS ($8.5 MILLION US DOLLARS) WHICH I WANT TO TRANSFER FROM AN ABANDONED ACCOUNT TO YOUR BANK ACCOUNT, ALL TO MY FINANCIAL BENEFIT AND YOURS TOO ALSO 100% FREE RISK.
BEST REGARDS, meloibrahim
Date: Sunday March 30, 2008
Time: 3:00 am - 4:00 am
Dear Mr. Ibrahim (may I call you Melo (yellow)?),
I see you are involved in the Foreign Remittance Department and as I am a foreigner I see I qualify. You've certainly come to the right person as I like remittances to me as much as the next guy.
However I do have a few concerns, chief of which is the meeting time: 3 AM....8.5 Million dollars.... 3 AM....8.5 million dollars.
Nah, I can't see getting up at 3am for 8.5 million "US" dollars, whatever those are. I'm sure you understand.
Now with that vulgarity out of the way allow me segue to my own fictional offering. I'm going to try this off-the-cuff, with no cutting and pasting from previous efforts so bear with me (though be assured by that I did not mean to imply that you cut and pasted your fine writing sample):There once was a man from Nantucket...Oh, let me start over. A do-over we call it here in the States, or alternatively a mulligan, which is named after a young man named "Mulligan" who made a goof (that's my guess; don't quote me):There was a cottage by the sea, where all fine cottages ought be, and the wind and waves were lapping each other in a game of friendly tag.All the best, TSO
There a gladsome little girl lived, with her family of course, for how sad a gladsome girl be, without her fam-i-lea!
Her needs were simple, her cares light, she fished for salmon until the night.
She memorized sea books full o' agate print, or took out a canvas and painted a tint.
Sometimes she swam with the seals off the coast, her own legs turned to scales and fins - no boast!
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